Couple of days ago, I woke up with anxiety and tried to figure out what was causing it. I can attribute it to two things:
First one is being tired. When I am tired, I’m a different person. Everything becomes so exaggerated. Something that I could easily handle when I'm rested, feels like it is the “end of the world”.
The second reason for my anxiety was all the “expectations” I had created for myself and placed on others. I woke up disappointed in myself that I wasn’t where I wanted to be with the progress of my studio and online programs. Always wanting things to be better or different. Comparing myself to others in my community. Disappointed that a person I knew really didn’t treat me the way I wanted to be treated. Fixated on work, outcomes and deadlines I had created for myself. No wonder I felt anxious!!!!
As soon as I started practicing non-attachment, I felt lighter. Letting go of all expectations and control, and embracing life the way it exactly is at this moment; being further along or behind is not better or worse. Realizing that I am reaching for an end result and not appreciating the process. There is no end…life is one big process. And the process has its own way of unfolding; sometimes separate from how I think it should unfold.
As soon as I let go of all my expectations and appreciated NOW, exactly as it is...a sense of ease and lightness came over me. And after a good night sleep, good food and connecting with a few friends, I regained my balance.
Do you set expectations on yourself and feel bad when you don't reach them? Do you want things to be different than what they are? If you have found yourself in this loop of thinking, here are a few suggestions:
-meditation really helps - it allows you to slow down to connect to yourself and your spirit, knowing that there is more to life than all this doing
-working through these time - when you feel this way, be non-judgmental toward yourself and just practice non-attachment. The more we practice, the more we re-program our brain to new ways of thinking and breaking old thought patterns
-realizing that life is a process with no end result - might as well enjoy the process and let go of controlling. Non-attachment doesn’t mean you don’t care or are not going to put effort into life. It’s about planting seeds and moving forward with what you want in life, but not getting too attached to the outcome. It’s about going with the flow, rather than resisting what is happening. It's about enjoying living in the present and letting go of worrying about tomorrow
I have to keep reminding myself that we are here to enjoy, connect, love and serve. What makes you happy? How much of your life is devoted to that?